I sleep talk. It’s a verifiable fact. My husband, who is the one who hears most of what I have to say in the middle of my rest, says it’s mostly coherent; but without context so it’s hard to know what I’m talking about most of the time. I also cry in my sleep. That can’t be helped I guess. There are so many things to cry about in this world, everything from my past to my present could be something to cry about. My husband says that’s the hardest thing to listen to while I’m sleeping. I wish I could say that when I got sober the crying stopped. It didn’t. What I can say is that the crying became less. My husband says it’s pretty rare now, which is a good thing right? There is also something else that has begun to happen. My husband says that maybe 6 months after I stopped drinking, I started laughing. Not just when I was awake either. I started to laugh in my sleep! I have even woke myself up laughing a couple of times. Which made me laugh harder. Laughing. Something I once rarely did is now almost all the time, more so when I’m awake but still some while I’m asleep. It’s one of the things that keeps me motivated to stay sober, because laughing feels so so good!
Bonnita SOBER DATE: 06/10/2023
Sunshine After Rain
One day when I was young, I heard a knock at my door.
It sounded familiar, like I had heard it before.
I opened the door, and to my surprise,
There stood a young lady with blond hair and brown eyes.She said, “I have the answers; are you ready to play?”
So I grabbed my money and I said okay.
There were the answers that I had always sought.
Liquids, pills, and powders, and I bought and bought.Then one day, my friend suddenly changed.
Her face became ugly, calloused, and deranged.
She grabbed my hand and we tore through the town.
My loved ones and friends could only watch and frown.She kept whispering something I could only guess.
It sounded like she was repeating, “Yes, Yes, Yes.”How quickly from fun to very near death.
How quickly from one beer, to smoking crystal meth.
I thought of my family, oh what a mess,
But all I heard was screaming, “Yes, Yes, Yes.”I had to find help; I was at my wits end.
I had lost my child, my family, and my friends.I said, “God are you there? Can you help me, please?”
A sudden peace came over me and I fell to my knees.
God answered the riddle that so long I did guess.
Why my addiction kept screaming, “Yes, Yes, Yes”It’s because I kept asking night after night
It’s going to be different this time, right?I said, “God, I’m not worth it; I feel like a jerk.”
He said, “Suit up and show up; it’s time to go to work.”Now it’s been eight months since I had my last drink.
It’s given me time to remember and think.So I am here to tell you in this little rhyme.
Brenda Winders
Life keeps getting better one day at a time.
So when you think you are going insane.
There’s always sunshine after the rain.